One may want to take it for granted that everyone understands the word, ‘forgiveness’, how it impacts health and how important it is for the offended to forgive.
If everyone understood, revenge may lose its grip on many, the world may be less broken and be a happier place. Just may be…
Am I getting the offender off the hook? Certainly Not!
Years back, I felt betrayed by a friend. I hurt for some time. When I see the person coming from one end, I’d go the other way. Then, my chest and head ached. I had to talk to myself. I realized it was more burdensome, keeping malice and refusing to forgive.
Then I understood why another friend once told me, “it’s in your interest to forgive.”
I forgave the person and since then, I forgive offenders more for my inner peace and health.
Forgiveness
Forgiveness simply means to no longer hold an offence against the offender.
It is a conscious and deliberate choice to let go or release all negative feelings – anger, hatred, resentment and quest for revenge – towards someone who hurt you irrespective of whether they deserve it. Now, even though I used the word ‘simply’. It is not simple. Forgiveness is a process.
However, when you continue to forgive people who offend you, the process of forgiveness becomes easier. For me, I remember how I offend God and he forgives me; so, if God forgives me, then I should forgive others. Yes, God expects me to forgive others even as He has forgiven me.
Oh, let’s not forget cases we offended ourselves.
You also need to forgive you. In those situations, you felt guilty take wrong decisions, and getting yourself into messes you later regretted; forgive yourself.
Effect of Forgiveness on Well-being
A few days ago I saw a publication, ‘The Influence of Forgiveness on Health and Healing’ showing studies explaining the positive influence of forgiveness on social, physical and mental well-being.
The article states that forgiveness is a protective factor for physical health. Researchers have linked traumatic stress (this could be betrayals, abuse in all forms and other hurtful events) during childhood or adult life to several negative physical and mental outcomes (and, I dare add, spiritual outcomes) of individuals, families and communities.
Chronic stress activates the stress hormone, cortisol, which wears down the brain, leading to cell atrophy and memory loss.
Cortisol elevates blood pressure and blood sugar levels, contributes to arterial hardening, and increases the likelihood of heart disease. In contrast, forgiveness lowers cortisol levels, diminishing the chances of developing diabetes, cardiovascular issues, unchecked inflammation, cancer, obesity, and premature death.
How does it happen that our body is affected?
Anger, for instance, puts the body into a fight-or-flight response, leading to increased heart rate, higher blood pressure and reduced immune response. These changes will affect our mental health in return.
One positive factor that helps individuals bounce back from trauma, betrayal or hurt and helps them heal from emotional wounds is forgiveness. Studies have shown the beneficial impact of forgiveness on emotions and physical health.
Several types of forgiveness include divine forgiveness, self-forgiveness, forgiving others and inter group forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not about denying the event happened or making light of it or excusing the offender. However, it’s about transformation for your well-being and sanity. When you forgive, you are not to bring up the offence or use it as a weapon against the offender.
In forgiving, the two steps are:
- You have to decide to forgive, letting go of negative feelings and choosing not to revenge.
- Replacing the negative feeling with positive feelings of compassion, sympathy and empathy and reconciliation where possible.
Studies also showed that ‘pressured’ forgiveness impact health negatively. It should be your desire and choice.
Social Health
Forgiveness gives room for reconciliation, the likelihood of resolving the betrayal, or misunderstanding leading to possible closeness.
Studies showed that forgiveness can facilitate greater trust, satisfaction, commitment, and stability in the relationship.
I like this statement in the article, “forgiveness is both a onetime decision and a lifetime of commitment to keeping the forgiveness promise.”
Reconciliation may or may not happen, but you should choose to forgive. You need to forgive for you to heal and be transformed.
Know this, ‘it’s not by might nor by power but by the Spirit of the Lord.’
Are you holding on to anger, resentment, or a past hurt?
Take a moment to reflect on how it’s affecting your well-being. Choose today to begin the process of forgiveness—for your own peace and healing. Whether you need to forgive others or yourself, remember that forgiveness is a journey worth taking.
Start by seeking inner peace, and if you’re struggling, ask for God’s help. Let go, and let healing transform your mind, body, and spirit.
Surely, it’s more blessed to forgive than to hold grudges.
Thanks for this beautiful article ❤️