Ndidi Ngwuluka

Should older children earn their pocket money?

2009-03-24T16:36:00.000-07:00

A friend told me of her friend who finished school, got a job and left home to stay on her own. Stacy was suddenly under pressure because she could not understand money especially the spending and saving part of it.

Stacy exclaimed, Toilet tissue is expensive!'

If Stacy had earned pocket money while in school, she would not be surprised at the cost of toilet tissue. Her bewilderment implied that her parents must have catered for all her needs without exposing her to money and how to manage it. Consequently, she finds that she runs out of money before the next pay check. She was not prepared to face life on her own... [Read more]

Would you sacrifice family for career?

2009-03-11T11:58:00.000-07:00

I am sure we may have heard such comments like:

"He has done well for himself. He is now the managing director of the company but one of his sons is a drug addict while the other is presently in jail for murder."

"She is a renowned human right activist but
her home is in chaos"

Career is like a rubber plate when dropped from a height is not affected by the impact of the fall. It is recovered still as a plate and can still be used. However, family is like a clay plate that falls from the same height but shatters to pieces. It can no longer be utilized as a plate unless the pieces are crushed and re-moulded. Re-moulding will certainly result in something different from the one that broke and there is the possibility of not being impressed with the outcome. So why would you choose to drop the clay plate instead of the rubber plate? A well moulded beautifully designed clay plate would usually be more attractive than the rubber plate anytime any day! [More..]

Were Ananias and Sapphira struck down by God?

2009-02-21T10:58:00.000-08:00

Ananias and Sapphira were indeed struck down by God. In a community with total openness and transparency, they dared to introduce deceit.

It is written that the community of believers then were of one heart and one mind (Acts 4:32-33, The Message). They shared everything as none of them claimed ownership of their possessions. None of them lacked because those who owned lands and houses sold them and brought the cost of sale to the apostles as offerings. Each time such money is brought, it is distributed according to everyone's need. An example was given of Joseph also called Barnabas who sold his field and brought the money. [More..]

Can medicines treat Parkinson's disease?

2009-02-06T12:17:00.000-08:00

Parkinson's disease (PD) is one of the most common neurodegenerative disorders. Although the cause of PD is not known, genetic and environmental factors are strongly considered to be the main determinants and also family history is a risk factor. Studies strongly suggest that exposure to pesticides, well water consumption, rural living, anonnacin (a sour-sop component) and other chemicals such as a synthetic opiate, 1-methyl-4-phenyl-1,2,3,6-tetr ahydropyridine (MPTP) are some of the predisposing environmental factors leading to Parkinson's disease. These factors trigger a complex of pathogenic events which lead to death of neurons called the dopaminergic nigral neurons in the brain. [More...]

The Book of Esther

2009-01-29T12:38:00.000-08:00

Esther was one of the women in the bible whose attributes could challenge us to abide by God's principles. She was a woman who by God's design found herself the queen of Persia. It was not clearly stated that it was God's design but a statement by her cousin, Mordecai which will be stated later in the article could imply so. [More...]

I still have joy

2009-01-25T13:17:00.000-08:00

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials. James 1:2 (NKJV)

On 10th January 2002, I found myself singing a song most part of the day and I wondered what that meant. It was a short song:

I still have joy (2ce)

After all I’ve been through

I still have joy

Initially, I did not understand until later that night. My aunt called me and informed me that my mother was admitted unconscious.[More...]

Painful but for our good

2009-01-23T13:00:00.000-08:00

That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. Romans 8:28 (The Message)

A relative started a business of his own about seven years ago and it was indeed rough. He borrowed money to eat. There were times he would call me and weep. He wondered what God was up to. I suggested he should look for a part time job if he was bent on running his business so that the job could at least provide food for him. He applied for paid jobs to no avail. So he felt if God did not allow him get a job, then he must have a breakthrough in his business. As he got into the seventh year, 2006, he told God that the year had to be his year of release into his abundance. [More...]

Should family be placed on the altar of career

2009-01-23T06:18:00.000-08:00

I am sure we may have heard such comments like:

“He has done well for himself. He is now the managing director of the company but one of his sons is a drug addict while the other is presently in jail for murder.”

“She is a renowned human right activist but her home is in chaos”

Why can't I trust Him?

2009-01-22T12:27:00.000-08:00

Hitches make me ponder
Is God still in this?
Obstacles make me shudder
Will I ever achieve this?
Why can’t I trust God?

I worry so much that my head aches
Every move or attitude by someone is suspicious
I think so much that my heart aches
Every word by someone is suspicious
Dear Lord,
Why can’t I trust you?

Doubts fill my heart
Discomfort and anxiety dislodge my anchor
My aches and sadness beclouds my sight
Lord, in you shall I find succour
If only I can trust you

Worries help me not
Anxieties make me restless
Worries strengthen me not
Anxieties make me fruitless
Yet, why can’t I trust God?

O my father
Help my unbelief
O my Father
Grant me relief
Help me to trust you

Your promises are there
For me to hold onto
You are ever so near
I must draw near too
I must trust you

For you take no pleasure in they that do not trust you
But your delight is in they that rely wholly on you.

The Difference: Peter's Musing

2009-01-16T13:58:00.000-08:00

It was about noon, I went up to the balcony to pray. After a while, I got very hungry and I wanted to eat. My thoughts drifted, I began to remember the period with my Lord Jesus. I remembered the first day he called me; I was out fishing with my brother. He asked us to come with him and he would teach us how to catch men instead of fish. We dropped every thing and followed him. At that time we did not for one second think of the implications. [More..]

There must be more!

2009-01-13T16:17:00.000-08:00

“Junior, will you stop that! What can of a child are you? You are such a pain” screamed Nkechi.

Titi looked at her friend dazed by such utterance. “Ah ah! Nkechi, what is wrong with you? Why are you taking it out on the child?” Snapping at Junior appeared to have become a habit for Nkechi and it was affecting him.

“I am not taking anything out on the child. Can you not see that he is misbehaving?”

“He is simply acting his age. In case you have forgotten, he is only four years old”

“He and his father are stressing my life day in day out. I don’t have space at all. From morning till night, when it is not Junior, it is Ugo and they do not appreciate the sacrifices. Goodness! I did not know marriage was like this.”

Titi’s thought flashed back to their days in the University and she had to accept that her friend, Nkechi had changed since she got married. She was no longer her jovial, sweet self.

Nkechi was such an agile, pleasant girl who had challenging dreams although her first priority was to get married after school. She sang it like a song, worked at it and immediately after graduation, she got married to Ugo. Titi remembered Nkechi’s wedding day; she glowed so much that one would have thought that she would live happily ever after without a hitch. Here was Nkechi, very irritant and what ordinarily was not an issue had become a big deal. She loved kids but here she was always snapping at her child.

“You know what? Let Junior spend the weekend with me while you catch your breath,” suggested Titi. “Then afterwards we find time and talk.”

Nkechi did not believe what hit her. She had yearned for this break for a long time but did not know how to go about it. At times like this she wished her mother was alive to assist her. There was no relation of hers or Ugo’s in the same town with them. She never liked Freetown but all attempts to dissuade Ugo from accepting the job was abortive.

Junior spent the weekend at Titi’s while Nkechi left Ugo on his own and checked into a hotel for the weekend. It was indeed a weekend of revelation and transformation.

As Nkechi stepped into Titi’s house, it was obvious something had happened to her.

“Junior, come give mummy a hug. Did you miss me?” She grabbed him, held him tight to junior’s discomfort. It was a strange; his mother exhibiting such emotions. Junior freed himself from his mother’s arms and moved away. Nkechi understood and at that moment, did not press further.

She turned to Titi who sat and was watching the telly initially, “Most times, a number of us get involved in things because the society expects it of us or we want to prove a point or to attain some status and we do not know the implications. I desired marriage without understanding the responsibilities involved in it. Yes, marriage is good if you go in with the right person and you are prepared. I was so eager to run away from the challenges of being single as if marriage does not have its challenges as well”

“Titi, are we humans not funny? We are never satisfied with where we are or what we have. We always want to be where someone else is or have what someone else has”

“Hmm, Nkechi, did an angel appear to you this weekend?’ asked Titi.

“You may say so. Thanks Titi for taking Junior off me. I was able to sort some things out.”

“I got married, only to be overwhelmed by the responsibility of being a wife to a traditionalist like Ugo. Before I could adjust, I became a mother. The once upon a time Nkechi who could be so organized could no longer find her bearing. I was frustrated, unhappy with Ugo’s insensitivity and my attitude towards him made matters worse. My marriage became a nightmare; my prince charming had changed into a frog; I found myself in a tall tower with no way of escape. So I let it out on the two important people in my life”

“Can you imagine, if I did not have a child, I would complain. God gave me one and I have done nothing but make the child feel unloved.”

“I spent the weekend thinking of the last five years of my life and I realized that I needed to change my attitude towards circumstances. I must not allow the circumstances to control me but rather I should be in control of them.

My son is just acting his age. I should know that there are times to scold or beat him and there are times to overlook some things.

I have come to understand that my marriage is for a purpose and so I must avail myself to God so that it can be fulfilled. I was busy worrying about my dreams being in the cooler but God wants me to seek Him first and then in the process, I will find Him and myself.”

Titi sat there, amazed and thrilled. It was delightful to hear Nkechi talk in this manner.

Nkechi continued, “I have also come to realize that every marriage have its trying phases. Raising a child is a phase which I should accept with joy knowing that I will not labour in vain.

One of my biggest challenges is being able to balance all activities/chores both in the house and outside. But God has given me strategies on how to go about them. The first step would be to set my priorities right. Once I set my priorities right, I would be relieved of some stress.”

“Exactment! I was actually going to suggest that to you,” Titi interrupted. By this time she was standing up; for a moment, it was as if she was not sure how to react; she just could not contain herself.

“This is great! Oh Lord, this is great!” Titi screamed

“Titi, I and my husband were at loggerheads because I demanded from him what I should ask from God. Can you imagine that! The strain on my marriage will minimize greatly if I learn to trust God for everything. I decided I will not worry about the years that have gone by but will maximize the years left. I will make a deliberate effort to work on my marriage and parenting. I have already bought two books; one on marriage and the other on parenting to help me”

“Well I have some. So when you are through with the ones you bought, I will give them to you,” offered Titi.

“Thanks. I have also decided that I would have to get someone to help with the house chores even if it means paying. By so doing, I will have time for my husband and Junior and stop complaining of being too busy and stressed out.”

“Titi, before I merely existed, wondering if that was all there was in life. Each time I thought of it I got more frustrated, felt that there must be more but I was trapped. Now I know there is indeed more but I must lean on God for wisdom and direction on daily basis”

“Wow, this is a miracle!”

Any marriage can work

2008-12-25T14:15:00.000-08:00

I remember as a fresher in the university, my female classmates were getting married one after the other in an alarming rate that one of the boys exclaimed, "At this rate all the girls in our class will get married before we graduate". Well, about 80% got married before we graduated. Presently, some of them are not happy in their marriages. Also I have listened to my friends complain about their husbands and I could not help wondering why they are no longer seeing after wedding what they saw in their husbands during dating/courtship. [More...]

The High Call

2008-12-25T14:07:00.000-08:00

Mr. Odoh after each day's work looked forward to his home. When someone alerted him that the property close to Kumaro dam was for sale, he put together his savings and bought the property. This is one purchase he has convinced himself he would never regret.

As soon as he got home, ate, he would head to the balcony appreciating the beauty of God's creation around him; the trees, flowers, birds and not to forget the cool healthy fresh air. [More...]

Oh Faith

2008-12-24T09:27:00.000-08:00

Oh faith
Why are you so far from me
Why are you not simple to have
Yet you are what moves God
But you are not as easy as a hand wave
[More...]

The reason for the season

2008-12-16T12:08:00.000-08:00

I realized this month; there was a surge of scam mails sent to my email box daily. Initially, I could not figure it out until I and a friend began to discuss the increased crime rate. We heard stories of people who were robbed. Sadly, the criminals did not just stop at robbing their victims but they also maimed them. Crime increases during Christmas season which makes one wonder what Christmas season has become. A number of the scams mails were winning notifications and invitations to share some inheritance. [More..]

Leaders and Followers

2008-08-05T15:39:00.000-07:00

I was in a forum where it was being debated who should be blamed for the decadence found in some countries. Some insisted leaders should be blamed while some argued it should be the followers.

I believe bad followership stems from bad leadership.

A mark of a good leader is loyal followers' (The Message)

So if there are bad followers then their leader should examine himself. [More...]

The Serekunda Market

2008-07-13T12:47:00.000-07:00

As we drove towards Serekunda Market in The Gambia, I was not sure what to expect as it was my first time in the market. There was the challenge of where to park the car; so my friend and I had to get down for the driver to find a place to park.

While we trekked towards the market, I saw some traders by the roadside. One spread his second hand clothes on top of a car parked by the road. The car was very dirty and did not appear to have been moved in months (or years?). Another trader placed some apples in a carton and called out to customers, "Pom, 10, 10 Dalas."

The market appeared not planned; for the goods were not sold in sections. Clothes were sold in the midst of meat, vegetables and palm oil.

Some of the traders could not do simple summation which gave me the impression that they could be cheated. My friend wanted to buy five litres of palm oil, so we approached a girl selling palm oil, who told us the price of one litre, but could not tell us the price of five litres. The woman beside her could not, the man she called to assist was also as handicapped as the other two and so we had to go elsewhere.

The air in the market was very stuff and had a pungent smell. I was certain it was not cigarette. On further enquiry, I was told that it was grass. When the traders were not attending to customers, a number of them were either smoking grass or drinking the Chinese tea, which they called 'Ataya.' So when you see a small charcoal stove with a kettle on it beside a trader in Serekunda Market, he is sure brewing Ataya.

As we moved around the market, I saw shops that had spices, cereals, legumes, tomato puree and some other food items packed in small transparent poly bags. I commented to my friend and she said, “Yes, food items are sold in ‘aliquots’ so the least person could buy.” The smallest pack of spagetti would only be enough for a child of a few months or may be a year and certainly not for an adult. Unless the adult intended to buy a pack each of spaghetti, rice, beans and spices to make a meal.

Practically everything sold in the market was imported apart from fish. The Gambia is known as the smiling coast and so you can imagine that there would be a lot of fish of varying sizes, shapes and colours. They were sold either fresh or smoked.

My friend made us go up and down the market looking for good bargains and when it was time to leave, we spent additional time looking for our way out to the road. I got to the car tired and sleepy but I was glad that I got to know a bit about the Gambians.

The Desire in Me

2008-07-13T12:13:00.000-07:00

The job I got in 2001 was not what I had desired but I had to settle for it at that time. As the days went by, I pondered about my life, the job, my income and the challenges of being single.
One of those days, I sat down, wrote some poems and thought they were good. I was surprised I could write poems, but the poems I wrote subsequently made me feel my writing of poems was circumstantial.

While in the university (1991-1996), I wrote down some of my experiences and the lessons I learnt from them. It was not until I wrote the poems that writing for the public occurred to me. Between 2002 and 2004, I got too busy with a marketing job and so writing was put on hold.

I got a teaching job in October 2004 and by 2005; the desire to write was re-awakened. But I did not want to launch out as a writer without a writing course. As I browsed the World Wide Web, I found The Writers Bureau site. The content on the site inspired me the more, though I was not opportuned to enroll until November 2006. I expect the comprehensive course to harness my innate writing, help me identify the area of writing that I will excel in and also transform me into a published writer. Although I must confess that making out time for the course has been trying.

I want to write to impart positive attitudes to the next generation. I would not be everywhere, but my writings can go places that may even be unthinkable and make changes.

Finally, I foresee a time when I will retire from classroom teaching voluntarily and write full time.